Commons brunch. We all know it. Hell, we all love it! It is our favorite way to spend a Sunday morning. There’s absolutely nothing that could be better than getting up at the crack of noon and heading down to the old ‘mons for a waffle and a customized egg sandwich. Yep, Commons brunch is almost perfect. Almost. Here are eight easy, DIY hacks to take your Commons brunch to the Next Level.

1) Be sure to arrive PROMPTLY at 10:50 am. That way you get the Best of Both Worlds because breakfast ends and brunch starts at 11. You’ll get your grits and potato coins but ALSO your yogurt parfait.

2) Make sure Carol Quillen actually responds to your outlook invite this time. Remember how embarrassed you were last week? Can’t have a repeat of that.

3) Ask the Du Jour chef to prepare you “The Special.” He’ll know what to do.

4) Do not wave at ANYONE. Believe me, waving is a mistake. They are never waving at you. They are always waving at the person behind you. Please please don’t humiliate yourself again.

5) Go to The Famous Toast instead!

6) If you have to cry, do so in the central area of the salad bar. Salad leaves provide a significant source of comfort that is unmatched by any human companionship.

7) Wear your best outfit. Most people don’t know this, but Vail Commons brunch is actually a world-renowned venue for fashion and culture. Next time you’re in there, try donning a pair of thigh high alligator boots or a diamond encrusted ball gown. People will notice.

8) Be sure to throw up last night’s mistake in the un-used Commons bathroom. The workers will really appreciate your commitment to the maxim “work hard, play hard!”