You have run out of deodorant. Let’s be honest. You ran out of deodorant a week ago and you’ve just been scraping your armpits with plastic for the past seven days. So it’s time to get some more. Time to go to CVS.
When you arrive at CVS, you head to the deodorant isle. But oh no! The person you hooked up with last weekend is standing there. Do you:
a. Walk up next to them and grab your deodorant. (Go to 1)
b. Hide in the greeting card isle until the coast is clear. (Go to 2)
1. You confidently go to grab yourself some deodorant. They are reaching for the same deodorant you are about to reach for. They notice you. Do you:
a. Look at them and say, “Oh heck yeah. Deodorant buddies!” (Go to 3)
b. Grab the deodorant and quickly make your way to self-checkout without acknowledging them. (Go to 4)
2. You scurry to find refuge in the greeting card isle. But when you reach the greeting card isle, your old lab partner that didn’t do anything for your chem class is standing there, looking through the cards. Do you:
a. Leave the isle. Avoid them. (Go to 4)
b. Look through the cards in order to waste time, hoping they don’t recognize you. (Go to 5)
3. Your latest hookup stares at you in disbelief. They are now seriously regretting their decision to hook up with you. They shake their head and walk away. Do you:
a. Cry. You really only have one option at this point.
4. You quickly grab a box of toothpaste off the shelf to have something to buy, so if your hookup does happen to see you it doesn’t look like you’re just here to stalk them. There is a line for self-checkout. Do you:
a. Go to the counter and actually interact with a person in order to buy your toothpaste without having to wait in line. (Go to 6)
b. Wait in line for self-checkout. (Go to 7)
5. You look through the greeting cards, pretending to browse. Your old lab partner doesn’t recognize you. Probably because the entire lab was on Zoom and cameras were optional. Phew. You spend 10 minutes browsing through greeting cards until you decide that the coast should probably be clear. Go to 4.
6. You put the toothpaste box on the counter and the cashier looks at you for a little bit longer than normal. You look down at the toothpaste. You are horrified. You didn’t grab toothpaste you grabbed a pregnancy test! Oh no. And suddenly you see movement and standing right behind you waiting in line is your crush! You have never spoken to them except one time you liked a 121 week old photo on their Instagram profile. You die inside.
7. You stand in line for self-checkout. Your hookup walks up right behind you. Oh no, you think. But they say hi. That’s strangely relieving, you think. You also so hi. “Just restocking on the essentials,” you say to fill the awkward silence and hold up the toothpaste box. But it is not toothpaste box. You accidently grabbed athletes foot cream. You die inside.
As you can see, Davidson run-ins are inevitable.