The Davidsonian

Davidson Housing Crisis Solutions

Coming back to campus this year, many juniors who had been abroad for the fall were in for an unpleasant surprise when they got their housing assignments for the spring. 

Sure, plenty of people ended up in F lounges converted to “apartments” thanks to thin sheets of plywood extending to almost the ceiling as “room” dividers, but somehow these accommodations (priced at just under the rate for a regular senior apartment, you know, the kind with four walls and a door to divide individual rooms) are luxurious compared to what some students have experienced.   

“F already has a history of using cheap plywood for risers and everyone loves it. Yet when we give it to you as part of the housing accommodation at F suddenly there’s a backlash? When a frat does it it’s ‘a nice place to stand’ but when we do it it’s ‘not legally a real ceiling or a room’. When will the double standards end?” argued a confounded source in RLO

“I was taken aback when my housing portal showed me my assignment was the spare room in the makerspace. I never actually visited down there, so I didn’t really question it.” Upon reviewing the situation, we’ve determined that the old abandoned classrooms in basement chambers actually made better accommodations than other dorms. In Base Chambers there are clean bathrooms and a vending machine, both of which are notably absent from the hastily assembled housing project known as Sentelle. 

Another student had an even more disconcerting assignment. “When I logged on, the room number was just listed as “Chambers 3021.5. For the life of me, I had no idea what the .5 meant,” said junior Lilly Lapel. When checking in with RLO, they showed her to her new living quarters: the space in the walls between two classrooms.

“Over the break, we looked back at the academic building plans,” said RLO employee Harry Hurlbutte. “We saw there were these huge spaces in the walls between classrooms in chambers–I’m talking like major five, six foot chunks. We knew we had found the solution we had been looking for.”

Lapel laments the fact that this new “room” set up does not have a sink like most Davidson rooms do. She also feels frustrated by the fact that there are no windows, she can only access the “room” by crawling through a small hole fashioned by Physical Plant at the far end of Chambers classroom 3021, and she can never sleep in due to Math 110 and Econ 235 being back to back 8:15 and 8:30 classes.

“I learned my lesson pretty early on that I needed to be up and at ‘em before those classes come in,” said Lapel. “There’s nothing like crawling out of your room in your sheep pjs holding your toothbrush to a bunch of Econ bros staring at you first thing in the morning.”

Lapel is one of 15 unlucky juniors placed in “alternative wall housing” this semester. When asked if there were any perks to her unfortunate condition, Lapel said, “Well, the commute to class is unbeatable.”

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