Over this past Thanksgiving Break, The Yowl decided to skip out on perky Aunt Kelly’s terrible tuna casserole and Uncle Graham’s annual pro-life debate with cousin Margaret. After 86 years of attempting to get a sit down interview with the one and only Saint Nicholas, The Yowl finally succeeded with the persuasion of Union sushi. The interview took place on the fourth floor of the Knobloch Campus Center. Mr. Claus was only able to spare about 15 minutes of his time — but we got what we needed. Santa revealed the top 16 ways a Davidson College student puts themselves onto the naughty list. Surprisingly, none of them involve violating the Honor Code (which Claus described as “a dumber behavioral system than ‘time out’”). These are the results:

16.  Anyone who has ever asked a visiting speaker a “five-part question”

15. Social science majors who persistently send out surveys. We don’t see you helping anyone else out with their homework.

14.  People who prefer Lux over Will. E. Wildcat 

13. The same people who leave half-filled Keystone cans outside of F apartments who also don’t know how to pick up popcorn after Live Thursday

12. Students who only read The Yowl section of The Davidsonian. (That’s right, Santa is talking to you.)

11. First-Years who don’t Venmo the host of the Pre-Game

10. ThE AdMiNisTrAaTiOn

9. The people above me that have really loud sex at 1 A.M….I mean the people that live above Santa

8. Students who leave their items in study rooms for hours while not actually using the space

7. Tour guides who lie about the importance of the Honor Code, freshman roommates staying together, the proximity of campus to Charlotte and over-emphasize the love of P.O. boxes 

6. Professors who held classes the week of Thanksgiving

5. Finals Week Martyrs 

4. People who play music out loud when walking to class

3. People who bring pillows to a library study room

2. Anyone who has ever had a conversation in base libs ever 

1. People who are posting a Tuesday night pre-game shot on their Snapchat at the exact time their part of the group project slide is due.