Step Aside, Health Center: Campus Crazed by Nummit’s New Caffeinated Cure-All, “Therapy”

SUMMIT OUTPOST –– Davidson students are quite accustomed to seeing the barista specialty drink of the week when they enter Nummit, and while these refreshments are often a little out of the ordinary, a new concoction has hit the scene with a scalding splash.

“We’ve always been concerned about student health and well-being,” barista Kieran Flaxseed ‘21 commented. Flaxseed continued, saying, “We wanted to show students that we had heard their voices and would provide a wholesome pick-me-up.”

In order to reach such venti aspirations, Nummit employees pulled out all the stops and created “Therapy.” “Therapy” contains a heady blend of a double-shot of espresso, pre-workout, and milk from the original Red Bull. This delicious elixir is then heated to questionably high temperatures in order to burn all taste from one’s tongue as it is gulped down. Customers can also upgrade the experience with a shot of wheatgrass-infused five-hour energy.

“Therapy” was a labor of love that was a long time in the making, according to Flaxseed, and in order to make it affordable for the average college student, a small-sized cup can be purchased for an absolute steal at $13.58.

Sales were low during the first half of the week, which lead to customers being bribed into buying the drink with the promise of free avocado toast. This promo was simply thought of by the manager, and a line out the door materialized instantaneously.

“I’m a huge fan,” said Erica Williams, ‘20. “In the mornings when I wake up and think, ‘man, between my student loans and senior thesis I could really use a caffeine drip through an IV,’ ‘Therapy’ is the next best thing.”

Many students have felt as if “Therapy” is taking the place of a deep, primal need for compassion that just isn’t available elsewhere on campus. When Skip Tilly ‘23, thinks about his perfect drink, he wants something that will give him “a little bit too much caffeine and the feeling that my day won’t be a waste.”

Lucky for Tilly, “Therapy” comes with a complimentary slap in the face.

“When I drink ‘Therapy,’ the world just seems a little bit brighter. I am so glad Nummit decided to take it upon itself to fulfill my mental health needs,” Williams said. “And that’s the Davidson difference.”

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