Senior to Write Honors Thesis on How to Please Everyone

While the premise known in the academic circles as You Can’t Please Everyone theory (YCPE) is rarely contested, one daring Davidson student is calling it into question. Communication Studies major Francine Tuck ‘18 is writing a senior thesis that aims to challenge YCPE with a groundbreaking new hypothesis of her own: Yes, You Can.

“People think I’m crazy for combatting a belief so blindly accepted within academia, but people also thought Copernicus was nuts for questioning geocentrism,” said Tuck. “Even I was taught that YCPE was a given, like evolution. But I still tried to please everyone anyway. My thesis is just an extension of that conviction.”

Apparently, Tuck wasn’t always so enthusiastic about her choice in topic.

“Francine was originally going to write about gendered communication in the military, but I pushed her to find something more relevant. Then, she wanted to write about social media and the 2016 election, but I still pushed her. Now, she’s taking on a project of unprecedented proportions, all while balancing the day-to-day stressors of being a Davidson senior. I couldn’t be more thrilled!” said Douglas Little, Tuck’s primary thesis advisor.

Tuck explained her methodological approach to Yowl reporters, noting that it draws from both qualitative and quantitative data. The quantitative side, i.e. the enumeration of those pleased, i.e. everyone, is relatively simple. Tuck’s qualitative methods are only further proof of her dedication to the project. While exploring traditional avenues such as the Smiling Through the Pain technique, the Yes-Man approach and Passion Planning™, Tuck will also be performing an ethnographic immersion: literally living and embodying her thesis in order to prove it.

“[Tuck’s] bedroom wall is covered in sticky notes keeping track of how to make sure everyone she encounters in life is absolutely delighted with her, from her boss to her barista to her ex-boyfriend. I can tell it’s a lot of work because she’s constantly crying in her room when she gets the chance,” said Tuck’s suitemate Anna-Charlotte Lumiere ‘18.

“But it doesn’t bother us,” added another of Tuck’s suitemates, Anjelica Rhodes ‘18. “She always makes sure to ask if the sound of her sobbing will annoy us. So considerate.”

As for Tuck’s findings? The research has already proved promising, early reports boasting a 100% success rate regarding Tuck’s ability to sate her every acquaintance. The Yowl has since followed up with Tuck, but has been informed that she is “really swamped this week.”

Comments are closed.