Scholastic Spotlight: First Year Rushee to Examine What the Move is Tonight for WRI 101 Final Paper

CHAMBERS 1234 — Describing the subject matter of his study as “groundbreaking, potentially historic, and previously unexplored in academia,” first-year student Brett Murray ‘22 explained to his Writing 101 classmates on Monday that his final paper would investigate the timeless question that has eluded the world’s greatest social scientists for generations: what’s the move tonight?

Murray, who many might know as the owner of six throwback NBA jerseys, reportedly provided his classmates with a brief overview of his research methodology as part of a required project proposal.

Brenna McLaughlin ‘22 told The Yowl that she was impressed by Murray’s enthusiasm for his research paper, noting that his analysis could yield “revolutionary insights into the optimization of social life at Davidson.”

Other WRI 101 students shared McLaughlin’s perspective, lauding their enterprising classmate’s ingenuity and willingness to tackle a subject matter that is so integral to college students’ wellbeing.

The Yowl sat down with Murray, who was originally thinking SPE but is now leaning more toward SAE, to discuss his paper and any preliminary insights his research may have yielded.

Said Murray, “I’m developing a multiple regression model to help determine what, in the long run, is the optimal move for an average weekend night at Davidson. I’ve been collecting data on different Martin Court apartments and Patterson Court houses since August, and have also been tracking numerous other variables that my model will control for.”

The budding statistician continued, “Controlling for weather, the presence of a campus-wide court party, as well as ratings developed by third-party coders for overall campus sentiment and levels of police and RLO stringency, I have been able to collect some statistically significant results, which I am excited to expound upon in my paper and hope to replicate in future independent studies.”

The Yowl spoke with several professors specializing in quantitative social science regarding Murray’s methodology, as well as the reliability and validity of his tests. Social Statistics (SOC 201) Professor Devon Caldwell called Murray’s analysis “methodically sound,” and commended his attempts to control for the “numerous extraneous variables that may impact a given night down the hill.”

At press time, Murray and his 2nd Belk hallmates were seen eagerly running a preliminary version of what is being dubbed the “Move Model” in hopes of identifying Friday’s top pregames. The model repeatedly advised transferring to a state school, much to the chagrin of its visionary designer.

Comments are closed.