CHAMBERS 3068 –– At last Thursday’s sparsely attended SGA meeting, Davidson’s Residence Life Office announced that it is considering a partnership with Buzzfeed aimed at developing a more effective system for pairing incoming first years with their roommates. Citing problems with the ever-controversial Myers-Briggs test, Area Coordinator Heather Harris explained the reasoning behind the proposition.

“Placing people together based on four arbitrary criteria just isn’t working out anymore,” stated Harris, referencing the measurements of extraversion/introversion, sensing/intuition, thinking/feeling, and judgement/perception. “That’s why I’m all for launching this innovative new initiative, which will pair people based on results from a plethora of Buzzfeed personality quizzes.” 

The new assessment would take into account results from quizzes such as ‘How Well Do You Really Know Season 6 of Friends?’, ‘What Type of Pizza Are You Based on The Color of The Shirt You’re Wearing?’ And ‘Which Iconic ‘00s Teen Movie Do You Actually Belong In?’

Responses to the new assessment have been generally positive. Sophomore Jim Hurley commented, “My roommate and I don’t get along at all, even though we’re both ENTJ’s. If only we had taken the ‘Which Font Are You’ quiz, then RLO would have known better than to place Louis––who is clearly a comic sans––with a century gothic like myself.”

Research indicates that the questions posed in Buzzfeed quizzes are actually much better- suited to the task of roommate assignment than those associated with Myers-Briggs. 

“MB asks things like how punctual you are, where you stand at parties, and whether or not you obey laws,” explained Psychology major Karissa Katz ‘20. “With Buzzfeed, there’s a lot more variety. Some quizzes ask you to choose your favorite picture of Kanye West. Others question what matters most to you: family, adventure, memes, et cetera. One guessed my favorite color based off of my astrological sign, and it was right! When it comes down to something as important as who you’re living with for an entire year, it’s important to ask the questions that matter.”

Sources say that if this initiative goes well, the college may integrate Buzzfeed-type programs into other aspects of Davidson culture. Rumored projects include restructuring the Phi-Eu debates to be conducted online solely through the use of gifs from The Office, requiring professors to lecture students solely through relatable videos, and replacing the 4-point GPA system with a rank-order emoji model.