In a record-shattering Frolics season, Chief Todd Sigler 2.0 reports that no one has been taken to the hospital for alcohol-related illnesses this week. This is the first Frolics since 2005, the year the Four Loko was invented, that has seen zero medical transports. This may be related to the fact that Frolics has been suspended, but we’d much rather attribute this success to RLO programming encouraging healthy drinking habits and posters advertising proper alcohol consumption! “Most of my friends decided to stay sober during Frolics this year,” reported Harry Harrington ’23, “although that may be due to the fact that I’m 19 and rely on my frat bros to provide.” We’ll pretend we didn’t hear that! Student EMTs, who talk way too much about the fact that they are student EMTs, expressed relief that they did not have to watch their peers puke into a trash can on Catterson Pourt Lawn while simultaneously feeling pity and disgust. Instead, students have been overwhelmingly responsible with alcohol consumption during Frolics. The entire Davidson community is proud of this achievement.
In other news, one class has been very intentional about dealing with the lack of Frolics. It seems as though every first-year friend group photoshopped themselves into any picture they could find of a grass field with bouncy castles to imitate what their first Frolics experience could have been. When clicking through Instagram stories of the class of ‘23, it really almost feels like you’re there, except that all are smiling, when in reality about 90% of the group would more than likely be lying face down in the middle of Catterson Pourt. Even though no first years know what Frolics is actually like, the sentiment is there — and that’s what it’s all about.
We at The YowlTM have mixed feelings about these alcohol stats and yearn for the time when we could all be together again and watch one more frat guy act like he knows what he’s doing while bartending. We press on. Stay sober, ‘Cats!