By Davidson Onion ‘24 

Photo illustration for “No Matter What Poli Sci Class You’re in, Students Will Do No Productive Shit This October”

Democrats, Independents, and closeted Republicans, hear ye. This month leads up to one of the highest stakes elections in the history of America. For the typical political science student, the election will dominate their classes. Multiple reports have claimed that 45 of the 55 classes were spent discussing the debate, Trump’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis, and whether Jim Carrey makes a good Joe Biden. It doesn’t matter how irrelevant the election might be to the class’s subject matter––if it has “POL” in the course description, you have a free month. Sure, the professor might assign readings, but let’s be honest, the real homework is watching the debates. Sit back, relax, and tune out. 

We wanted to get a diverse number of opinions for this story. We headed to the Economics Department, where many campus Republicans can be found crunching numbers and wearing Jordan Belfort-like suits. Our reporters asked one student if current politics had overtaken his economics class. The student chose to remain anonymous and commented, “My econ classes are pretty void of political discourse. I mean, besides reading the Communist Manifesto in Econ 101, things here are apolitical.” Next, we headed over to every other department to get the Democratic view. Many campus Democrats expressed concern about President Trump’s rhetoric regarding mail-in ballots, but most just looked very tired. “It’s constant. CONSTANT discussion of politics,” one environmental studies student said. “It’s every day, 24 hours a day. People need to be involved in politics, but Jesus Christ, sometimes I need a 30-second break. I used to say, ‘I’m into politics as much as the next guy,’ but now I can’t say that because the next guy probably spends hours upon hours researching politics on Instagram.” 

The election doesn’t just affect students. Everyone can benefit from this tumultuous election. Many professors have had beach vacations planned for months in advance for the week of November 3rd. One professor interviewed in the History Department beamed with joy, commenting, “I’m a hardcore leftist, but I’m backing Trump this election. In 2016, I only bagged one day when he won, but I think this time, I can take a five-day vacation and blame it on the election results!” 

For more reporting on the election, look anywhere on campus; it’s hard to avoid.