First it was eHarmony, then Bumble, then Farmersonly@farmersonly.org, then Tinder, and now, the latest dating craze amongst students–slipping into those phat DMs via a Google Doc invitation to edit.
Students have swapped the awkward social media direct messages of yore for the more refined, more socially fluid courtship process of inviting someone to mutually edit a Google Doc file.
“It’s perfect, because, you know, you don’t want to seem too forward. Like if the other person doesn’t like you, it’s like, oh hey yeah sorry I just wanted you to look over my resume for spelling errors. Not like make out at F or anything. It’s foolproof for the rejection-phobe in all of us,” says avid Google Doc user, Zark Muckerberg.
“I mean you’d be shocked by how steamy it can get in those insert comments. Who needs to ‘send nudes’ when you can turn on your partner of choice by noticing when they use a dangling participle phrase?” Muckerberg continued.
Muckerberg admits that the medium inherently comes with some downsides.
“I mean is it difficult for me to upload a stealthy d*ck pic to the Drive? Yeah. But I’ve found there’s more erotic nuance in suggesting I have a boner by excitedly correcting my partner’s citation form,” Muckerberg said, adjusting his trousers.
Freshman Michelle Foucault claims that Google Docs alleviates the pressure of socializing directly with people you’re romantically interested in.
“It’s just a lot to have to communicate with someone DIRECTLY through their social media accounts. That’s almost like talking to them in person.”
Foucault reports that several successful relationships have been formed by the Google Doc DM, including her own budding romance.
“My boyfriend and I met when he sent me his Dean Rusk grant essay. We haven’t spoken in person yet, but honestly, it’s getting really serious. He even met my parents, who I invited to comment as well. They all bonded over their love of the Oxford comma. It’s pretty sweet,” continued Foucault.
No one can be sure how long the Google Doc craze will last. However, professors have reported several awkward miscommunications resulting from the new dating trend.
“One student thought I was trying to hit on them because of my extensive commentary on their sh*tty GSS essay. It made things very awkward in office hours. I f*cking hate these weirdos,” muttered Gender and Sexual studies Professor Rudy Giuliani.