Introducing “Phew”: A Secret Society for the Commoner

Editor’s Note: If you didn’t know, Davidson has two secret societies—Phi and Eu. Don’t worry, we’re not in them either (or are we?) (we’re actually not) (wink wink). But now you get where Phew comes from? Cool beans.

FROM THE DESK OF THE EDITORS-IN-CHIEF

Today we at The Yowl officially decree the creation of a new clandestine association at Davidson College. PhewTM: The Common Man’s Secret Society. The Yowl has long been a bastion of normality, a pantheon of average joes and janes, and above all an unvarnished voice of the campus commoner. Our salt of the earth ethos has compelled us to create a space where being an ordinary dude or dudette at Davidson College is not only welcomed, but valued. 

So without further ado we introduce Phew, our school’s first society for regular ole Steve’s and Sally’s like you!

We’re not looking to recruit the kid who shows up to his or her 8:15 Thursday Writing 101 ten minutes early and contributes a thoughtful analysis to the class discussion. We’re looking for the kid who shows up ten minutes late, wearing pajamas, and barely skimmed the reading. 

For all those out there who don’t identify as “type A,” have a levelheaded check on their sense of self-importance, or aren’t inclined to make self-absorbed tweets or Facebook posts, this new secret society might just be for you.

We’re not looking for the Co-President, Leader, Representative, Scholar, or Fellow. We’re looking for the ones who manage to spin their summer job as a “Senior Delivery Specialist” at Papa John’s into a resume highlight. 

If you’re involved whatsoever with PCC, SGA, or any organization colloquially known by a three-letter abbreviation, Phew is not for you. Union Board, go DIY your own secret society.

If you fit the profile described above, we encourage you to attend our first meeting on Friday. We will be drafting bylaws, taking a blood oath, and if time permits (you really never know how a blood oath is going to play out!) we’ll examine David Foster Wallace’s metamodernist encyclopedic novel “Infinite Jest”.

PSYCH! We’ll probably just chill, talk about whatever, and watch some TV. 

Free Tenders. Bring your uninvolved friends. 

Meet between Philanthropic and Eumenean Halls at 10 PM on Friday. Pregame it.

Phew TM: Regularius, Ladebackius, Chillersius, est. 2019.

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