By: Please Make This Anonymous 

Image illustration for “First Years, Listen Up!”

The top 17 things every first-year should have in their backpack before going out. Save this one for when F is back!!

  1. Two handles of whiskey to be passed around in a parking lot with people that don’t go to Davidson 
  2. A towel, in case you stay the night somewhere and need to prove that you take showers the next day
  3. A change of clothes in case someone spills a few drops of beer on you and you murder them and get blood on you 
  4. Knife, see above
  5. Carton of eggs, if they make it through the night, they’re probably expired and you shouldn’t eat them
  6. Water bottle full of piss, good icebreaker
  7. Really fancy cheese in case you end up at a coffee shop and people are sitting around smoking cigarettes discussing books
  8. A gameboy in case you have to wait for somebody and need something to keep you entertained in the meantime
  9. A family heirloom 
  10. Dog tags, keep them on at all times
  11. Three pairs of shoes;, sometimes your shoes will get dirty, but you’ll mostly need these to have different options
  12. A film camera to show people how cool you are even though you aren’t
  13. A second backpack, Rrussian nesting doll style
  14. Yellowpages 
  15. A costume to match the second themed event of the night 
  16. A PB&J to gain the trust of Ccampus Ppolice 
  17. Your own Bluetooth speaker