Satirical image of Covid Core Response team members
Photo illustration for “Fall Courses Taught by Covid Core Response Team”

Everyone has taken lessons away from the COVID-19 pandemic, especially the Davidson College COVID Core Response Team (hopefully). This fall, the team will use their newfound wisdom for a series of Covid-related courses cross-listed in the new Public Health department. Rumored offerings include:

ECO $300M: “Pandemiconomics” with Chris Clunie and Ann McCorvey

This is a class for budding philanthropists wanting to start a nonprofit and for Econ majors who dream of being venture capitalists alike. You will learn how to shake down major donors for millions of dollars in order to pay for twice-weekly testing, thermometers that only give temperatures in Celsius, and even chartered flights for the football team to San Diego. While the campus did see an increase in parking ticket revenue due to students parking in Baker for <5 minutes for college-mandated testing, the bump was not enough. Finance VP McCorvey and AD Clunie will teach a rigorous course on how to raise enough money in a few months to eliminate every Davidson student’s debt (and then, of course, put that money toward something a little more pressing). 

COM4SecondsUpTheNose: “Swab Stories” with Rachel Rice and Beth Adams 

Getting large groups of students to do anything is hard, just ask anyone who has tried to organize an event on campus. Rice and Adams poured their experiences as COVID Testing Site Coordinators into an invigorating syllabus. You will learn what it is like to eat Den everyday and hear anecdotes from interactions with the Mako testers. Tester #5, the campus crush, will join to discuss how to gently caress a student’s nostril from the inside. Despite feeling slighted by being left off the Core Response Team, Rice and Adams have generously agreed to share their stories from the frontlines. 

THE 1EmailAWeek: “Shadow Puppets” with Mark Johnson

Picture a dark classroom with a spotlight shining directly on a barren wall. The shape of two hands appear and form themselves into the silhouette of President Quillen. Who’s hands could they be? None other than Mark Johnson! Everyone’s favorite college Communications Director is here to teach students the art of shadow puppetry, an act he’s been mastering since his arrival at Davidson in 2012. Mark said he was excited to come to  Davidson so that he could “shape storytelling” on a college campus; learn from him as he shapes his hands into fun animals while explaining how he’s pulled the strings in the President’s office the entire year! The man behind the greatest hits of administrative decisions like no close contacts and no guests on senior’s porches is here to share his talents with you. Have you felt a wall between the students and the administration? Well, come learn from the man that built it! And marvel as he projects shadow puppets of the administration on it!