Distant Sound of Mr. Brightside The Third-Best Part of Area Man’s Sunday

“Gee golly whiz, this is a banger,” says Hobbes ‘64

N. MAIN STREET — Area man Walter Hobbes ’64 has confirmed that hearing the distant sound of The Killers’ 2003 anthem Mr. Brightside at 2 AM is the third best part of his Sunday, trailing only the unconditional love he holds in every moment for his dear wife of 53 years and the evening news. Mr. Brightside narrowly edges out the daily crossword and time with grandson Timmy to crack his top five, according to Hobbes’ official journal entries obtained by The Yowl.

From his home on Main Street, Hobbes says that the sound of the iconic hit single resonates at the perfect pitch; it’s just faint enough to allow him to drift into a peaceful slumber, yet just loud enough that he’s able to enjoy the acclaimed lyricism that has made the song a cultural cornerstone. 

In comments made to The Yowl, Hobbes remarked, “It just brings me so much joy! Every time I hear it I just think about my soul-mate and lover of 53 years, Lucille. I think about our beautiful family and our grandson. It started out with a kiss and it ended up like this. I’m the luckiest man alive.” 

Hobbes declined to comment when asked why the evening news outranks his beloved Lucille, though several neighbors told The Yowl that he is a known “admirer” of Channel Five Sunday News anchor Suzy Pepperdine.

When informed that college and town officials have increasingly been exploring avenues to limit students’ ability to play popular music and socialize on weekend nights, Hobbes shuddered and grew visibly pale. 

“Oh nooo, no, no, no,” murmured a quivering Hobbes, “That can’t be! Thaa tha that… that song… it keeps me going, it gives me life. How can they do this to me! They’re gonna kill me! Those bastards!”

Hobbes then became noticeably distressed upon realizing that the “f*cking daily crossword” could soon become one of the three best parts of his Sunday, should the volume of Mr. Brightside no longer remain loud enough to reach his house. 

At press time, Patterson Court Council representatives were seen sitting with Hobbes at Summit Coffee, lobbying the fiery elder townsman to speak on behalf of Davidson students in a meeting with school and town officials regarding noise ordinances.

The Yowl would like to formally request that school officials refrain from interfering with weekend noise, for the sake of Mr. Hobbes––an alumnus, veteran, and active community member. We worry for his health.

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