Creepy, Overbearing Hall Counselor Puts Elf on the Shelf in Residents’ Rooms

He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He will attack unprovoked.

BELK — Describing her most recent stunt as “way over the line” and “low-key super creepy,” residents of 2nd Belk expressed unease with sophomore hall counselor Sarah Evans’ insistence on placing an Elf on the Shelf in each of their rooms.

Evans, who consistently refers to the residents of 2nd Belk as “her babies” or “her little angels,” returned to campus from Thanksgiving Break a day early in order to ensure that the stuffed elf dolls could be positioned discreetly in each room before her residents returned.

Multiple first year women on the hall spoke to their collective bewilderment upon discovering the slender androgynous creatures hidden around their rooms.

“Kate was about to turn the lights off Sunday night, and then I look up and see a f*cking tiny head sticking out from behind the sliding door above our closet,” remarked Sandra Rodriguez ‘22. “That freaky thing scared the shit out of me!”

Rodriguez and roommate Kate Henderson ‘22 immediately texted their hallmates, all of whom had found or soon uncovered an Elf on the Shelf somewhere in their room.

“At first we thought this might have just been us getting pranked by someone,” explained Henderson, “but after Leslie found one sticking out of her laundry basket and Nina found one in her condom box, we knew it had to be Sarah. This has to be the weirdest thing she’s done yet.”

Henderson spoke of a pattern of increasingly maternalistic behavior displayed by their hall counselor over the course of the semester. Numerous other residents and outside sources corroborated this account, with several describing Evans’ actions as growingly concerning and problematic.

“At the beginning of the year it was kind of fun when we would all call her “mom” and she played along with the role,” said Rodriguez. “At least, we thought she was joking.”

It appears that Evans wholeheartedly assumed the title of hall mom, setting 12 o’clock curfews on weeknights, constantly offering to “check” any homework assignment her residents had due, and interrupting pregames “just to see if anyone needed a snack or anything.”

Evans’ behavior followed a swift trajectory from cute to weird to annoying to creepy, with the breaking point coming when she was caught reading one of her resident’s texts, which she claimed was necessary in order to “keep an eye out for any boys.”

At press time, an eyewitness reported seeing Evans watching her residents with binoculars as they disposed of their elves in the Belk dumpster.

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