Nibbling on the lukewarm strips leftover from their sparsely attended weekly meeting’s free Chick-Fil-A, the rebellious student political provocateurs known as the Young Americans for Freedom were seen engaging in serious deliberations regarding the group’s objectives for the remainder of the semester.
Yowl informants (we have informants now, pretty neat) who secretly and stealthily recorded the meeting, have confirmed all forthcoming details.
YAF President Benny Lu addressed the shortcomings of the organization’s fledgling publication — The Mirror — noting that its readership trailed even, “that dumb satire section in the Davidsonian.”
Adding that membership has declined by 20% (from 10 to 8 members, the Yowl’s analytics team confirmed, according official meeting records), Smith asked his fellow radicalized libertarians to brainstorm ideas for another bold publicity stunt akin to last semester’s nuanced, logically sound, and socially revealing income inequality video.
Treasurer Tammy Larson ‘19, a self-described “proud social moderate and fiscal conservative” who has tweeted about her emails 234 times, unveiled plans for a demonstration that YAF unanimously agreed would trigger campus snowflakes everywhere. Larson’s plan allegedly involves a public display of defiance toward something and is in some way meant to be some sort of “got em!” to “the libs.” Attempting to make some point about Colin Kaepernick and NFL players kneeling during the national anthem to protest the objectively present racial inequality in the United States, Larson and her merry band of free speech advocates plan to all take a knee during The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” at F this Friday.
Calling Mr. Brightside — students’ longtime nostalgic weekend anthem — “emblematic of Davidson’s institutional liberal indoctrination and the revelrous heathens that fail to abstain on weekends”, Larson appeared convinced that “they’ll never see it coming.” President Lu was heard squealing giddily when Larson suggested that discredited right-wing websites might even report on the group’s impactful demonstration.
At press time, Lu was seen walking out of Commons in an American flag t-shirt, an action strictly prohibited by Section 502A of the American Flag Manual, a document he has referenced countless times in online arguments from his Facebook burner account about NFL kneeling.
The Yowl would like to officially come out as the first campus publication to disavow any student who dares to take a knee During Mr. Brightside. The silence from Libertas has been deafening.