Archive for October, 2018

Field Hockey Currently Tied For Spot in A-10 Tourney

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Trent Turbyfill ‘22 Sports writer  The field hockey team has had a strong start this season. Five promising first-years have joined this increasingly competitive roster and they all have their eyes on Atlantic 10 tournament later this fall. Izzy Moody ‘22, a defensive and midfield standout, describes her experience thusRead More

“Gee golly whiz, this is a banger,” says Hobbes ‘64

Distant Sound of Mr. Brightside The Third-Best Part of Area Man’s Sunday

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N. MAIN STREET — Area man Walter Hobbes ’64 has confirmed that hearing the distant sound of The Killers’ 2003 anthem Mr. Brightside at 2 AM is the third best part of his Sunday, trailing only the unconditional love he holds in every moment for his dear wife of 53Read More

7 Things to Buy at CVS that aren’t Tampons, Pregnancy Tests, Butt Wipes, or Condoms

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CVS –– It’s that time of year again, folks. No, I’m not talking about midterms. I’m talking about when you’ve run out of all the essentials you initially came to college with that your mom bought you.  That’s right, look at the toothpaste on your sink counter, it’s almost completelyRead More

Freshmen Friend Group to Remain Fully Intact for Exactly Six More Weeks, New Report Shows

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VAIL COMMONS — The group of 11 first-year students who you saw sitting together in Commons on Monday will remain friends for exactly six more weeks, at which point underlying personality differences, complicated love triangles, and fundamentally different worldviews will cause the group to quickly dissolve, a new report shows.Read More

The [Sometimes] Weekly Judge: Angry Words?

The [Sometimes] Weekly Judge: Angry Words?

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Judge Victor Fleming ’73 To download a printable version of the crossword, click here.  Across 1 Big galoot 4 Not in good shape? 8 Test tube glass 13 “We’ve heard more than enough!” 14 “Me, too!” 15 Shake up 16 “Hannah and ___ Sisters” 17 Sensitive firing device 19 ___Read More