15 Things To Do In the Nummit Bathroom That Aren’t Taking A Rushed Dump (Number 8 Will Surprise You!)

1. Organize a conference call with a future employer (they don’t have to know your pants aren’t on. That’s knowledge that you can enjoy). 

2. Make loud wailing moaning sounds. 

3. Have yourself a quaint and quirky toilet themed wedding

4. Have yourself a quaint and quirky orgy

5. Host a semi-formal for your respective Eating House or Fraternity. Some of you are “trashier” than others.

6. Colonize the whole space to yourself, take like a 45 minute power-nap, really spread out all of your shit. This is your world we’re just living in it. (This goes out to you, the person who takes a whole Nummit booth to themselves without a friendly soul in sight). 

7. Have a class held in the nummit bathroom. Plenty of space in their for your verbal vomiting. 

8. Smear avocado all over the floor. Roll in it. Cover yourself in the good, good green. 

9. Want an alternative place to showcase your recent indie EP album? Debut in Davidson College’s premiere music venu. Really stick it to the man. 

10. Find that Lake Norman isn’t yielding the kind of interesting microbes and wildlife you’ve been asked to study for (insert stem class). Use some choice samples of this vast landscape to discover some cool new strain of mono. 

11. Just like idk, have a quickie? 

12. Bounce house!

13. If you think the Union and New Dorm gyms are a little too public, use this ample, bouncy space to do that weird, over the top HIIT workout video you’re too embarrassed to pull of in the public eye. 

14. We know a lot of you wildcats have a weird thing for ultimate frisbee. Maybe hide that hobby by practicing in this large, confined bathroom. (You’re trash!)

15. Use the private room to have yourself a really romantic first date. Nothing says good first impressions than the lingering smell of a coffee-induced dump and an ample amount of ammonia. 

16. Did you just make like a really socially awkward joke in your feeble attempt to court the nummit barista who you kinda got a crush on? Have yourself a good emotional cringe cry in Nummit’s sound-proof  “what the fuck did I just say?” room.

17. The Nummit bathroom is a really good place to quarantine yourself from your disease-ridden roommate. 

18. We suggest a silent contemplation of the meaning of existence. Let your thoughts echo in the vast emptiness of the Nummit bathroom. It’s like a sensory deprivation tank you can shit in. 

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